Subject: Grandmas
>>
>> > Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench
>> outside a nursing home.
>> >
>> > About then an old Grandpa Edlin walked by, and one of
>> the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can
>> tell exactly how old you are.'
>> >
>> > The old man Edlin said, 'There ain't no way
>> you can guess it, you old fools'
>> >
>> > One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just
>> drop your pants and undershorts and we can tell your exact age.'
>> >
>> > Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they
>> couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.
>> >
>> > The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple
>> of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped
>> up and said, 'You're 87 years old!'
>> >
>> > Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the
>> old gent Edlin asked, 'How in the world did you guess?'
>> >
>> > Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all
>> three old ladies happily yelled in unison--
>> >
>> > 'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'
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> The irate customer calling our newspaper offices loudly demanded to know where
her Sunday edition was.
> "Madam," I interrupted, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered
until Sunday."
> There was a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of
recognition. "So that's why no-one was in the church today."
######################
> Norman is 90 years old and has played golf every day since retiring. But one
evening, he arrives home looking downcast.
> "I'm giving up," he says. "My eyesight's so bad that once I've hit the ball, I
can't see where it has gone."
> His sympathetic wife makes him a cup of tea. "Why don't you take Fred with
you?"
> "What use would your brother be?" sighs Norman. "He's 103."
> "That may be," his wife says. "But his eye sight's perfect."
> So the next day, Norman and Fred head off to the golf course. Norman tees up,
takes an almighty swing and arrows the ball down the fairway.
> "Gosh, that felt good." he says. "Did you see where it went ?"
> "Of course," says Fred.
> "So where is it ?"
> "I can't remember"
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